Carl Brutananadilewski

I hate you Peter King but I have this primal need to read your damn Monday Morning QB column. Up until that fairy coffee crap and the latest exploits of your field hockey daughter. I got some field hockey right here for her. I’m talking about my penis.

Hey Peter, here’s ten things I think I think about how Peter King thinks I think he SUCKS!

1. You suck!
2. I bet your daughter’s hot now but will become a mocha-guzzling grass grazer like you in 10 years.
3. My ass can fart better fantasy picks then you. You think it’s a tip to tell me to start LT this week or bench Nick Goings? Fart fart fart!
4. Drink a normal American coffee and quit it with the White Chocolate Semen Latte crap. More like “coffeeturdness” YEAH! Go back to France!
5. You freakin’ suck!
6. Hey, quit talking about baseball in a FOOTBALL column. MMQB don’t stand for Monday Morning Queerball.
7. Quit doing 7a and 7b and all that crap with the letters and what not. This ain’t a spelling bee, friend.
8. Why don’t you and Madden get a room with Farrrv and just get it over with? Sexually I mean, in the butt. Brett looks like a gentle lover.
9. Stop starting all your stories with “I just off the phone with Lance Briggs and he told me whatever blah blah blah.” I will assume that if you quote the guy that you talked to him. I don’t care that you have him on speed dial right between Starbucks Customer Support and the NAMBLA Party Line.
10. That factoid of the week only does interest you. Why do you say things like factoid you queeroid?